


Party Favors

by incredimazable_omg



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily doesnt exist in this, Crack, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, MaleFemaleStripClub, Minor Violence, MoulinRouge, No Batman, StripperAU!, crack with a hint of romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2019-11-08 14:29:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17982872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incredimazable_omg/pseuds/incredimazable_omg
Summary: Bruce owns many things but secretly, he owns a strip club/ lounge called the Dark Knight in the middle of Gotham. His select team of dancers are the best in the business but sometimes old flames get in the way.Even dancers have love troubles, especially when your ex is also your guestInspired by Tinashe's "Party Favors"





	1. Gotta Make That Money, Honey

**Author's Note:**

> Prince Sugar = Dick Grayson  
> Golden Sexplanation = Jason Todd

_**7:30 PM, Wayne Manor** _

 

"So, you both want to see what my night job is like?" Bruce frowns at his sons. 

"Yes! You said when I become 18 years of age. I become that tomorrow. Timothy is almost 19" Damian demands. "C' mon Dad" Tim sighs, glaring when Bruce tries to resist.

 

"Well, alright. I have strict rules and regulations for this trip. Disobey and you'll be staying home with Alfred, assisting him with whatever duties assigned by him. If this trip does not go well as in my rules are not followed, that will be the consequence for two weeks. My job is serious and you both will respect the employees as you would Alfred. Understood?" Bruce explains, firmly. 

"Yes, sir" the boys respond immediately.

"Alright. Here's your mission: We'll go tonight since I need to complete a few errands there anyway. Consider this a pre-birthday present for Damian. We will celebrate as such followed by a lovely brunch with Alfred and Talia tomorrow. You are both to dress as you would for a party with your friends. You will be standing at the garage door at exactly 9 pm sharp. Be there or I will leave you. Your time begins now. We depart at 9:05 exactly. Go" Bruce nods, letting his two boys run upstairs seeing as it was almost eight o'clock exactly.

* * *

 

_**9:00 PM, Wayne Manor** _

As promised, he arrived at the garage and found both sons waiting nervously for him. He scans both of them. One wearing a suit jacket and jeans, the other wearing joggers and a jean jacket. Both wearing tennis shoes, he groans mentally. "Very well, we'll be taking Lauren tonight, Alfred. Black Lauren" Bruce calls behind him before climbing into the sleek, shiny Lamborghini. He drives deep in the Gotham nightlife areas where nightclubs and restaurants were alive with activities of all kinds. 

"This, gentlemen, is what your father bought and opens at night every night at 8 pm. We close around 3 am" he announces as they pull into an exclusive parking lot space behind a building. They climbed out of the car and enter the elevator. Bruce presses ' Main Level' and watches the glass doors close. The elevator stops quietly and opens its doors with a soft 'ding'. Bruce steps out first and then lets his sons look around. 

The club was dark, mysterious but had rainbow colored light bulbs everywhere. The floor looked like it was soft velvet but melted into gold marble towards the stage area. The mysterious area was huge, felt like walking into an elite manor or gala. Servers in skimpy outfits served food or drinks in both while the bartender made drinks behind a glass bar. The dancers were the epitome of beauty and sexy all wrapped in one. The thing that threw both teens for a loop was the small detail that was almost hard to miss. 

"Father, those are men?"

"Yes"

"Pretty" Tim mumbles as the women and men on the poles completed tricks as graceful as swans. The dancers finished their set and climbed down from the stage quietly, flirting with guests on their way towards the back. "What is this place called?" Damian asks in awe.

"The Dark Knight" Bruce nods towards the golden-plated sign spelling out 'Dark Knight' in diamonds above the stage.

Men and Women practically ran towards the seats from everywhere (the bar included, the bartender was sighing in relief). The curvy stage lit up and a beautiful woman appears from behind the curtain, walking like a smooth kitty on the runway. Her shiny black hair was beautifully etched into finger waves as her outfit resembled the 1920s fashion. "Lovers and Touchers, It is Wild Wednesday and what do we do on Wednesdays?" She purrs at the crowd through her mic.

"GET WILD" the crowd shouts in joy, cheering and whistling; some even cat-calling. She laughs it off and spins a large wheel on the corner of the stage. It's large purple arrow lands on 'Free Shots til Midnight' and the crowd goes crazy, some racing to order a shot from the bar. "Now that the fussy stuff is over and everybody is getting a drink, who do we wanna see on the stage tonight? Now, now, I have to find a lovely guest to ask. It's Wild Wednesday protocol, babes" She sighs, strutting down the stage's long floor. She stops and approaches a young man, maybe in his 30s, plopping herself into his lap. "Hello there, honey. Who is your favorite dancer here at the Dark Knight, darling?" she asks, petting his chest. "Well, I'd like to see Prince Sugar" he nods. "Oh, good choice. What is your name, sir?"

"Steven"

"Well, Steven, the crowd should thank you for picking tonight's first performer. Due to our special day, get ready for an exclusive, never done before performance, a triple crowd pleaser! Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the stage: Prince Sugar, Rocket and Johnny Glitz" She announces as hip-hop music starts to play so loud, it vibrates through the floor. She turns her mic off and spots Bruce, coming over to greet him.

"Brucie, darling, you've got new recruits?" she asks, leaning on the man's shoulder. "No, no. These are my sons. Don't even think about recruiting an apprentice this time" he warns her. She pouts at him while hugging his muscular arm. "I just wanted a friend. Anyway, hello future bosses. My name is Selina" She bows as if they were royalty before heading to the bar. "She's the announcer for all the shows, events and parties. She also warms the crowd before each set. Wait here, I'll get non-alcoholic margaritas for you both" Bruce nods, leaving them to sit and watch in a booth.

* * *

_**10 pm, The Dark Knight Lounge** _

 A slightly tall man stood on the stage. He smiles from beneath the cloak before removing it to reveal a gorgeous, sexy cop in short-shorts. Tim's jaw hit the floor as the cop swung himself onto a pole upside down at the top then spun elegantly towards the bottom, landing in the splits. "How on earth is he doing that?" Damian mumbles in awe. The gorgeous man leans back against the pole, letting it slip between his barely-hidden cheeks. He maneuvered in a way that made his ass dance and bounce everywhere. Men from the crowd threw money all over him and the more money falling, the dirtier his actions became. He rolls around in the money as a hunky firefighter came on stage, removing his jacket to reveal his glistening abs in the light. Women screamed and threw even more money as he grinds on the floor, making his way over to the cop. Before he reaches the cop's foot, he climbs off the stage and made his way over to the Bachelorette section full of excited women with money in their hands. 

A third performer stormed out on stage dressed as a hot soldier. He made his way over to the same section as the cop made his way over to the man from earlier and proceeded to give him a lap dance on stage. Bruce hands his sons each a drink and chuckles at their locked expressions. Tim barely got the straw in his mouth and Damian was still missing it. The performance ended and the stage became dim as the performers returned to go behind it. 

"So what do you think so far, gentlemen?" Bruce asks, smirking at their shell-shocked expressions.


	2. Do You Want A Freak? Is That What You Need? Cause Thats What I'ma Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is Freak by Victoria Monet  
> (try not to giggle too hard at these dumb stripper names, i swear they're from a generator smh)  
> Luscious Satisfaction = Roy Harper  
> Johnny Glitz = Konner Kent  
> Funky Rockets = Wally West

"I want to meet them" Damian declares, surprised when Tim agrees. Bruce chokes on his martini and coughs a bit before setting his drink down to look at his basically adult sons. "The men or the women?" he sighs, throwing the rest of the drink back. "The men have intrigued me, Father" Damian perks up. "Follow me then" Bruce nods, leading them towards the back of the area over to a door with a keypad. He enters the numbers: 1048. The door clicks and he pushes it open.

* * *

The teens step through and he closes it behind them. The backstage area looked wildly like a pink Barbie playhouse had a slutty baby with Playboy then housed it in a strip club. Neon blue walls and pink carpet with purple lockers on one side of the room.

The cop from the show was standing at his locker, humming a song and lightly dancing to himself. "Prince, come here" Bruce calls him over. Now that Tim could see him up close, Prince had the lean body of a gymnast with a large ass and a bright smile. "These are my sons, Tim and Damian. Boys, I would like you to meet Prince Sugar" Bruce nods. "Nice to meet you, little guys. Giving them the tour, boss?" Prince asks. 

"I just started but I need you to take over while I talk with Stephanie about a few things coming up soon" Bruce shrugs. "No problem" Prince waves as Bruce leaves. "Alright, any question is a good question. You can ask anything but a demonstration comes with a fee. So, any questions before we start?" Prince chirps.

"Is it scary to get on stage and be in front of all those people?" Tim asks. "Well, sometimes, especially at first for me. But you have to imagine that nobody is there and then it's just you versus the music" Prince nods, leading them into the first area.

"After clocking in, we normally put our day clothes in our lockers and head towards costuming which is this door with a red bat spray painted on it. Kate, the costume designer, is mostly in charge of our slutty wear. In costuming, you can be whatever you want to be. If it's not in your size, she'll make one just for you. It saves her the trouble of doing it later for theme nights" He nods, waving at the redhead altering a pair of shorts. She waves back before returning to her work.

He leads them to the next door with a flower spray-painted on its glass. "After clothes, you go to hair and Ms. Ivy will get you all dolled up. She's a cosmetologist and works her for extra money. She appreciates plants for gifts, FYI. On the other side of the room is makeup. If you wanna wear makeup, Bette is your girl. She's super talented at it and has a heart made of glitter. Try not to bump into her collection of glass dildos, though. She's very testy about it" Prince warns before spying his friends by the lockers talking. 

"Oh, that is my buddy, Rocket and my other buddy, Johnny. They're pretty athletic guys. Don't challenge them to a race unless you're prepared to lose" He nods, waving at the half-nude men. They wave and return to their conversation.

"As you can see, this door leads to the showers and bathrooms for us. Next to that door is the money machine that counts up our rack for the night. Using that machine is Luscious, the major flirt. He will flirt you out of your shoes if you gave him the opportunity. He often walks the floor and works in one of the private performance rooms along with my bestie, Golden or I actually call him Goldy. Anyway, those two almost never appear on stage unless they're looking for a guest. The men and women trade off performances so we're back here now but in an hour, the women will be back here. We don't open on Sundays or holidays per request. Any questions now that the tour is done?" Prince asks, leaning on a locker.

"I wish to work here" 

"WHAT?!" Tim yelps.

"How old are you, kiddo?" Prince asks, chuckling. "He turns 18 tomorrow. We're here to celebrate his coming of age" Tim sighs. "Well as far as jobs go, you can start out as a waiter serving food or helping the ladies in the events office. You have to be at least 19 to get on the stage and 21 to work the bar. Steph and Babs work the office, one sells tickets and makes flyers, the other books events. Sometimes they get on stage, too." Prince suggests.

"I will ask Father" Damian declares. "What about you, Timmy? Need a summer job?" Prince offers. "I don't know about the stage but the office stuff sounds interesting" Tim shrugs, shyly. A tall, sweaty, shiny, muscular man comes up behind Prince and hugs him from behind in cargo pants. Prince laughs and returns the hug. "Guys, this is my bestie, Goldy or for booking purposes, Golden Sexplanation" He introduces them. Goldy shakes their hands and uses his hat to fan himself. 

"You are a private performer. What exactly is your job?" Damian asks. "You're older, right?" Goldy asks Tim, who nods, Goldy leans over and whispers to him. Tim blushes and looks at Damian. "They do things that Dad is NEVER going to let you participate in on stage without having a heart attack first" he explains. Damian practically pouts. 

"Aww, well, Damian, they are not for everybody. Goldy and I are vets so we have seniority over the majority of the stuff. He chose to work in the private rooms. I chose to work on stage and sometimes the bar. It goes with working here for more than 3 years" Prince explains, patting the teen on his back. "It ain't for the heavily emotional, that's for damn sure. Oh, here comes boss daddy" Goldy smirks as Bruce comes up. 

"Ask him" Prince nudges the teens before pulling Goldy away to the lockers.

* * *

"So Princey, baby, what happened to my flask?" Goldy asks, crossing his arms over his chest. "Nothing. Why? Is it gone?" Prince answers, innocently with his arms behind his back locked together. 

"Because it's empty again and I know I had birthday cake vodka in it when I clocked in. Have you and Luscious been drinking my shit again?" Goldy asks, ready to scold him.

"No, I've been a good boy" Prince pouts, grabbing those large hands and placing them on his ass. "How so? Why should I believe anything that comes out of that cute mouth of yours?" Goldy smirks, teal eyes twinkling with lust.

"I did the dishes, fed our baby, cleaned our toys and prepped myself for later" Prince purrs, leaning upon his tip-toes to kiss his neck softly. Goldy rolls his eyes with a groan before smiling and holding him close.   
"Fine. We have some fun in the car and get dinner to eat at home. Then I eat you for dessert. Sounds good to you?" Goldy asks, nipping at Prince's bottom lip.

"Yes, please. I deserve some pampering tonight"

 


	3. I Need More Than Them Diamonds That You Got Around Your Neck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song for this chapter (recommended listening bc good song for this story and imagine it playing in the background of the club):  
> More Than That - Lauren Jauregui

**_Thursday, 8 PM_ **

Dick grumbles to himself as he clocks in then limping over to his best friend. Wally snickers as he helps him sit down on the bench near the lockers. "So who hit that and are you going back for some more?" Wally smirks as Dick smacks his arm away. 

"My boyfriend and Hell yes. The monster in his pants is my best friend. You can't even compete. That dick is magical and I can feel glitter leaking out of my ass still, after 3 showers ( one for each round)" Dick grins, proudly. "You are such a thot. Why am I even friends with your hoe ass?" Wally sighs, ignoring Dick's puppy dog look. 

"Because I make you smile when you're sad and bring you food on holidays. I even bribe Jason to cook for you on your birthday last year. Do you know how hard it is to get him to cook for people?" Dick whines, hugging his friend tight enough to almost cut off circulation. "Alright! I give! I'm so excited for Trash Day! I can't wait for the parties I get to do today with Roy. I finally talked him into doing a party" Wally grins, barely sitting still. "Well, hopefully, he does his best this time. Last time, he got drunk and went to sleep with the future bride" Dick snickers as Roy clocks in with Jason. 

"Hey, pretty boys! Jaybird, here, gets to do the smoke show tonight. Of course, there's a surprise waiting for them in those new hookahs we brought in" Roy cackles, leaning against his best friend. Jason slaps his ass and heads towards his locker to put his shoes in before taking a sip from his flask. "Now listen here, you little fuckers, if I come back and this flask is empty, everyone's ass is getting beat. Understand? Except for Kon. He knows how to behave like a civilized person" Jason announces, mainly pointing at Dick and Roy. 

"Yes, sir!" Roy salutes.

"Yes, Jay Jay" Dick grins. 

"Civilized?! Take that back! I'm a wreck! I have 8 credit card bills due next week and I only have enough for 1. I've got daddy issues and... I'm so single, Krypto won't even give me cuddles" Kon gasps, glaring at Jason. Jason laughs and hugs him. "Go shake that ass of yours on stage for us then. We've got some money to throw" Jason jokes, ducking a swat to the face. Kon tackles him and bites his shoulder before running away. "Kon is a nut disguised as a civilian. He needs Jesus and cognac" Roy declares, opening his locker and pulling his shirt off. He yelps as something cold hits his back. "West, that better have not been a fucking quarter!" He growls, whipping around to glare at the redhead. "No, it was a dime for a dime piece. Duh! Oh shit!" Wally exclaims before running into the bathroom with Roy yelling behind him. Dick lays flat on the bench on his stomach and laughs as Tim approaches. 

"Hey, where did everyone go?" Tim frowns.

"They all went off to Stupidland and left me here all alone. Timmy, I need cuddles" Dick whines. Tim laughs as Dick hugs him tight. Jason drags Kon in by his feet and sits on his back. "Hey Timmers" He waves. He laughs as Kon fidgets wildly as if he was swimming on the floor. Tim lets go of Dick and crouches down to Kon. "Konner, are you having a bad day?" he asks, trying not to laugh. "No, Jason is a really bad man and he needs to be punished. Dickie, help me out here. I saved your ass three times from Wally and Barbie" Kon shouts, huffing as Jason smacked his ass like a set of drums. Dick snickers before crawling over to Jason and whispering in his ear. 

"Right now? Seriously?" Jason yelps.

"I've got an hour and you've got an hour. Let's go, Papi" Dick purrs, tugging him onto his feet and pulling him out towards the parking lot. Tim helps Kon up and dusts him off. "Are you okay now?" Tim asks sweetly as Kon pouts. "Tim, you saved me! You're so strong" Kon gasps, smiling when Tim giggles. "Yeah, yeah. Time to get ready, Mr. Damsel in Distress" Time rolls his eyes.

* * *

 

"Richard, Wallace, It is so good to see you both" Kori chirps, hugging them tightly. "Kori, what are you wearing tonight for the party? I wanna match with you" Dick grins. She shows him a tight latex purple dress with gold boots. "Disco Diva is what it is called and I cannot wait to put it on" She cheers, skipping out of the room to go change. "Hmm, I think I'll be a cheerleader. Ooo, Wally, look at this skirt!" Dick waves it at his friend. "What skirt? All I see is a dog skirt. How is your huge ass even gonna fit in that?" Wally frowns, judging his own options. "I'll either fix it myself or make Jay help me. He might rip it though. He's good at that. What are you gonna wear?" Dick hums. 

Wally puts on a pair of yellow sunglasses with a smirk. "I'm going motor cross, baby!" He shows him the red leather jacket and racing shorts. Dick facepalms and walks away. A few minutes later, Roy tugs Jason in the room and hops on his back. "Which one are you gonna be, sexy face?" he asks, combing Jason's white bang. "Hmm, I've got the option to be a sexy firefighter, a slutty referee, a half-nude ninja or an oily boxer. I'll go with the boxer. It smells new. What about you, Roytoy?" Jason nods, grabbing his costume. 

"Oh, I traded my ninja costume for his bunny suit. Take me to the lockers, noble hoe. Giddy up!" Roy demands as he grabs his costume. Jason rolls his eyes and carries him towards the locker. 

* * *

 

"Kori, looking good" Jason winks at the tall, redhead. She blows him a kiss before getting on stage. Dick skips over to him and hugs him. "You look so good, Jay Jay! Good enough to eat" Dick smirks, running his fingers down his glistening abs. "But of course, you look like sex on legs, babe. Why don't I get this star treatment?" Jason asks, teasingly. Dick pecks his cheek and stands on his tip-toes to whisper in his ear. "Jay, we'll do something even better at home tonight. I think I won't be able to behave in the car ride home either" Dick grins before heading on stage to join Kori. 

After getting out of shock, Jason heads onto the floor to find Roy flirting with the drunks again. How he managed to get them so drunk, they thought he was a woman, is beyond Jason's pay grade to figure out. "Goldy!" Kon calls out. Jason heads his way and leans on his shoulder. "So this is Golden. G, this is my older brother, Clark. He booked a private room with you but he's not sure what he wants" Kon explains, patting his brother on the back comfortingly. 

"Well, there are only two methods this could go. 1, I go with my buddy Luscious' performance and do some rather rated R stuff with you. Stuff you probably haven't either seen or heard of. 2, I do it my way and be like a therapeutic fuck. Stress sex is what you can call it. So, what have you decided, Mr.Clark?" Jason asks, pushing his hair back. 

"I-I think I'd like to go with your method" Clark nods, blushing. Jason nods and hooks his arm with Clark, taking him towards the private rooms. "So, tell me Clark, rough day at work or home has been stressful?" Jason asks, taking him in the apartment style room and locking the door. He heads into the kitchenette and grabs him a cold one. "My wife says I should be more active in the bedroom. Apparently, I should not be afraid to take control but I have always let her be in control. I don't know the first thing about being in control" Clark shrugs, ashamed. Jason hands him the drink and sheds the silk jacket he was sporting. He stands behind him and rubs his shoulders. 

"Don't worry. You can be cured. First, you need to relax and just drink" Jason instructs, unbuttoning Clark's shirt and easing it from his broad shoulders. "Now, we're gonna strip and I'm gonna get your first nut on my hands before teaching you how to dominate. Easy peasy" Jason nods, stripping the rest of his clothes off and grinning when Clark's face goes beet red.

* * *

 "Well, well, someone is looking very lovely tonight" a deep voice purrs. Roy rolls his eyes and turns to look at Ollie disguised as a commoner. "Can I help you, sir?" He chirps with a fake sweet tone. Ollie grabs his hand and swiftly kisses it. "I would like it if we could talk. One on one. Sober" Ollie nods. "Fine, you're lucky my first party got rescheduled or else, I'd leave you here. Follow me" Roy sighs, leading him past the first private room. 

"AHH! RIGHT THERE! FUCK!"

"SHIT! OH MY GOD!"

"Um, is someone dying in there?" Ollie frowns, quickly rushing after Roy. "Nope. Just the sound of ecstasy from a farm boy. None of your business. So, what do you want to talk about now?" Roy folds his arms over his chest. Ollie tugs him over to the navy couch and sits down with him in his lap. "I wanted to apologize for how we ended our conversation last time we talked. I said some very awful things and I wish to apologize for my behavior" Ollie explains, rubbing Roy's arms. "Fine, apologize correctly" Roy huffs, slapping the older man's wandering hands away from his ass.

"I am very sorry for being rude and unforgiving. I should have treated you better with respect. I should have not called you horrible names. More importantly, I should have just told you how I felt right then and there. So, no more bullshit. I'm ready to answer your questions" Ollie nods, seriousness swimming in his eyes. Roy was a bit shocked but he pushed on with what he wanted to know.

"Alright, first off, is Artemis your daughter?"  
"No, my niece. She misses you, you know"

"Shush it. Next question, Is our daughter well taken care of? I mean healthy food, good grades, after-school activities and caught up on all medical shots"

"Yes. She is an A student at her school. She has 3 square meals a day and we have a family night every Tuesday. She just joined the Girl Scouts and she passed all her medical tests. No more cancer and no chance of it coming back" Ollie nods. Roy almost cried at the mention of cancer. 

"O-okay, that's perfect. Lastly, are you still married to Kim?"

"Separated. Divorce is final next month. Now, may I confess my feelings?" Ollie sighs, kissing Roy's cheek. With a nod, he grabs his face gently and stares him in his eyes. "I am hopelessly, madly in love with you and I want you to come home to the girls"

* * *

 

"So, how do you feel now?" Jason pants, failing to move his legs. "I-I felt like an out of control animal. Is that what it feels like?" Clark huffs, attempting to clean himself up and help Jason get up. "Well, it means what we did worked. It's supposed to feel really good to let loose. Jesus, my legs feel like Jell-O. Good job, Clark" Jason sighs, cracking his back. After a good shower and getting themselves together, Jason leads him to the front doors.

"Do you really think Lois will appreciate it?" Clark asks, letting Jason escort him to his car."I think she'll appreciate the Jell-O feeling in her legs and the feral look in your eyes. Just make sure you don't let her run away from that monster in your pants, alright?" Jason jokes, laughing when Clark blushes. After Jason finishes the smoke show, he heads outside to smoke after getting a cigarette from Kon.

He stretches his body and nearly punches whoever decided to grab his waist before he smells candy apples. 

"Hello there, gorgeous"

Jason whips around and decks the man in the shoulder. "Roman, I told you what would happen next time you decided to scare me like that. Now, why are you here?" Jason growls. The tall, sleek businessman chuckles before handing him a piece of paper. It was a pink receipt. "Are you fucking joking right now? You booked an hour with me?!" Jason screeches, about to punch him again. "Now, now I even tipped ya, sweets. Just give me a little show and I'll be on my way. No trick shit" Roman holds the fist ready to strike him and kisses it. Jason rolls his eyes and grumbles to himself as he tugs the man inside. 

"One hour and no more. I told you to stop stalking me. Now, I'm about to make you feel it in your old ass back" he hisses. "I'll gladly take that punishment, doll" the pale man winks a gray eye at him.

* * *

 

"Timmy! Dami! My babies! How's your training day going?" Dick chirps as he hugs each teen. 

"I'm having fun, actually. Now if only a certain ninja would stop sneaking up on me when I'm getting Stephanie drinks from the bar" Tim hums. 

"I am not enjoying my time in the kitchen. It is horrid and the guests are absolutely horrendous" Damian pouts. Dick hugs him tight. "Now Dami, don't be so mean. You can help Ivy in the Hair Department. She was an art major and she could use an apprentice to help out on our busy nights. She's been looking for one anyway. Plus, I know you like art" Dick chirps, taking Damian away as Kon sneaks up on Tim again and gets punched this time.

"Ow! Sheesh, Tim" Kon groans. "I warned you, mister. What is your name on the floor anyway?" Tim asks, checking his phone. "Johnny, why?" Kon frowns. "Oh, that's what I had your name saved as in my phone. Still on for our date tomorrow?" Tim asks. 

"Yeah, Krypto's damn owner hasn't come to get him yet so he'll be there when you come over but no worries, he's overly friendly" Kon shrugs. "How friendly?"

"Like the only reason he failed police dog school is because he wanted to play 24/7 type of friendly" Kon chuckles.

"Ivy, Ivy!" Dick calls out as he and Damian step in the rainbow painted room. "Princey, honey, are you due for a trim already?" she asks, chewing her gum and looking through a magazine. "Nope, that's next week. This is Damian and he would like to follow in your footsteps. He is going to be majoring in Graphic Design. I thought it'd be a perfect fit." Dick chirps. The two hit it off quick and Dick snuck back onto the floor. He sits on the bar and notices a muscular man coming his way. 

"Excuse me, could you tell me, if a man such as myself would like to book your time, where would he report?" the man asks, helping Dick get down. "Well, the front office has forms you fill out. I can show you where" Dick chirps, taking his hand and leading him away. Once at the front, he hands him a clipboard. "You'll fill this out and hand it to Harper in the window over there. She'll give you a receipt and then you're good to go" he explains to the older man.

"Well, which name are you registered under?" the man asks after filling out his information on the paper. "Right here. Prince Sugar at your service. You sure you just want little ole me?" Dick purrs as the man finishes the paper and hands it away. 

"Yes. You are quite worthy of my time and money" the man smirks, taking his receipt and placing it in his wallet. 

"Oh, thank you. I'll see Saturday then, Mister?"

"Wilson. Slade Wilson."


	4. Companions, But We Keep It Even Lower, I Never Ever Been The Type To Just Show Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 of who the actual hell knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm not dead, just been depressed lately  
> the chapter title comes from Company by Tinashe

"GET OUT!"

"Babe, calm down"

"Out! Damn it, Roman" Jason growls, pushing the taller, bulky man out of the building. "Now, why do you wanna treat me so mean?" Roman sighs as he pulls Jason back into his arms to hold him close. 

"Because you cannot buy my affection. We are NOT together anymore. Stop following me to work. Why can't you just marry one of those exotic women you left me for?" Jason scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Because... they don't care for me like you do" Roman sighs, snapping his fingers. One of his guards' approaches and present Jason with a smooth velvet box. Roman opens it in front of him and lifts the necklace out of its box. "This is the gift I was going to give ya before you left me" He nods. Jason sighs, taking the beautiful golden necklace, admiring the emeralds embedded in it. On the bottom of the necklace was a 24k ring with his would-be name in it.

"You put it on a necklace. How much was the necklace?" Jason grumbles, trying the ring on and finding out it still fits a year later.

"Um..."

"Roman Sionis"

"Alright, alright, 2 million" the man admits. Jason groans in annoyance before gently handing it back. "I can't deal with this right now, not right now" He sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Jay, you know, I can't give you up and I won't stop until you come home to me. Think about our baby boy. He misses you so much" Roman admits, reaching out and caressing his face.

"I miss him too but his dad needs to let me breathe on my own. Roman, I left because you tried to control me and you know, I don't like that shit. Our baby doesn't need to see you in that light. He's only 4 and he already has some issues. I just want him to be happy and healthy. That's all I ask for" Jason explains, trying not to tear up about the child he loves so dearly. Tylan Sionis was the sweetest child he had ever met and always had something to say no matter what. Sometimes Jason fears for his life because of his father's lifestyle.

"Then, at least, visit him. I don't even have to be there. He needs his other parent" Roman urges, gray eyes full of sincerity. "Alright, fine, how about shared custody? Can you live with that?" Jason asks, folding his arms over his chest. 

"Yeah, let's try it out. He'll be so excited, babe" Roman nods, agreeing to a time and a day.

Jason accepts the terms before heading back inside. He gives Dick a nod and heads towards the locker room just to cry.

* * *

 

"I hate you"

"C' mon, you know you wanna entertain me. It's been a while, Roy"

Roy hides a grin in Ollie's jacket that he decided to cuddle up in. "Not tonight, go away. Go be lonely or something" he teases. Ollie scoops him up with a kiss, laughing against his lips. Roy, eventually, escorts him up to the front to check him out. "So, after the meeting, I'll pick you up for lunch with the girls" Ollie nods, kissing Roy's forehead before leaving with his jacket hung over his shoulder.

Roy heads back in, makeup smudged terribly and finds his best friend moping in the locker area on the floor, curled up in a ball of misery.

"Jaybird, what's the matter? what happened?"

Jason sighs loudly before attempting to look up and screams in fright before glaring at Roy. 

"What the hell, Roy! You look like a raccoon on fire"

"Can't help it. Ollie brings out my inner slut and I wear it proudly. That, among other things. Anyway, why the long face, sweetheart?" Roy sighs, sitting down to cuddle him. 

"Older men are stupid. Roman is a stupid head. Where's Dickie?" Jason huffs. "Probably finishing up on stage with Barbie. They had the bubble bath party tonight" the redhead reminds him.

"... Wanna go bartend?" 

"No, I wanna get drunk"

"Duh, Roy, what did you think I meant?" 

* * *

3 am

Bruce walks out onto the floor to assist with the night's clean up. While most of it was covered, he found a body lying across the bar and chuckles to himself before approaching.

"You know, the tequila is for the guests during OPEN hours" he teases the raven-haired man. 

"Nuh-uh. Tequila is for bad days and quinceaneras. Wanna throw me one, boss man?" Jason pouts, allowing Bruce to steal the now half-empty bottle from him. "How about you sober up tonight and join us for lunch tomorrow at the Manor?" Bruce offers. 

"I miss Alfie. He loves me more than you do. You only want me for my youth and innocence" Jason scolds, narrowed eyes glaring at Bruce.

"Yes, yes, you've caught me. I've come to adopt Dick and take you as my sugar baby again. The dramatics you perform rival Alfred's past performances"  Bruce sighs, helping him get down without breaking his neck. 

Dick approaches with Damian and Tim snickering at Jason's drunk shenanigans. "Oh, someone is a little tipsy" Dick coos, hugging Jason. "Bruce won't let me drink and I wanna drink a lot" Jason pouts, leaning on Dick.

"He's a bad man, huh? " Dick nods, taking him out towards the car. "Yeah, bad man Bruce. He's no good" Jason nods, slurring his words.

* * *

 

11 AM MANOR

Jason yawns and looks over as Dick softly snuggles his face into his neck. His fingers found Jason's side and gently started to tickle. "Quit it" he groans, hiding his snickers in his pillow. Dick giggles, sitting up to kiss all over his face. Jason finally opens his eyes and smiles at the angel of his life.

"You look so pretty in the sunlight" he sighs, dreamily. "Aww, stop it, you. I'm not ready to be pregnant yet" Dick laughs softly as the sun shines down on him. "Besides, you're the gorgeous hunk. Come, strong man. Breakfast is ready and this Alfred person says he's the best cook in the house" he chirps as Jason sits up and lets him on his back.

Jason carries him down the stairs and around the corner, towards the beautiful kitchen. They filled their plates as Alfred washed dishes. 

A few moments later, the two princes of the Manor came down for breakfast.

Damian yawns and sits down quietly while Tim walks without his eyes open, he grunts as he bumps the island repeatedly. "Master Tim, my goodness" Alfred sighs, gently guiding the teen towards his seat where his coffee awaited him. Tim sits down, rests his face on the table and groans. 

"Cease that noise, Timothy or I will behead you" Damian growls. Dick leans over and kisses Damian's forehead. Damian opens his eyes and looks over at him in shock. "Grayson?" he gasps before noticing Jason. Jason eases Tim's face near the mug and blows the scent around him. Tim flies up and begins to guzzle the black drink down. Once he was finished, he jumps up and hugs Jason. 

"I remember you now! I missed you!" He grins. Jason pats his back and chuckles as Damian purrs like a kitten against Dick's cuddles. Bruce enters the room, blinks, and backs away. "Alfred, Am I in the right Manor?"

"Indeed, sir. The boys have forgotten who use to babysit them when they were tiny tots" Alfred chuckles.

"Oh, dear. Now, they'll never let them leave" Bruce sighs with a smile as Damian begins to talk rapidly in Arabic with Dick responding back in Damian's mother tongue.

 


End file.
